Snape's Worst Memory
by horsegal-98
Summary: Order of the Phoenix fic-After reading Snape's worst memory, and also the breif Sname memories on pages 521-522.Snape POV.If you havent read the 5th book, I wouldnt advise reading this.Rated for minor language.


Snape's worst memory  
  
A hook-nosed man was shouting at a cowering woman, while a small dark haired boy cried in the corner..  
  
Severus Snape rubbed his eyes and looked up at the ceiling. He had tried so many times to forget that moment. His father, abusing his mother, with him, barely five years old, watching terrified. He had never once seen his father treat his mother with love or respect. Maybe that was why Severus himself was so bad with women.  
  
Damn that Potter, damn him! Rifling through his memories as though he were skimming through a book. Hadn't he at least, attempted to stay out of Potter's more personal thoughts when Severus had been reading his mind?  
  
A girl was laughing as a scrawny boy tried to mount a bucking broomstick..  
  
That would be right. He remembered it well.Severus Snape.Always good for a laugh. Your hair needs a wash Severus. Your face is greasy Severus. Although they never actually called him Severus. He could never forget the name they called him..Snivellus.As if he didn't feel. As if he wasn't human.  
  
Always by those two idiots.  
  
Oh, Snape was deluding himself. He had been bullied by everyone in the school, the only one who didn't that filthy mud blood, Evans. But no one, not even Lupin hurt him as those two bastards did.  
  
Sirius Black and James Potter. The handsome ones. The popular ones. The ones chosen for the Quidditch team and followed by the girls.Severus still bore the pain of those years, that apparently constituted his "childhood".  
  
Damn Potter! James was dead, but still he lived on through Potter to plague him. Darling little Potter junior had better learn quickly. Merlin be damned if it was Severus's job to teach the little brat Occulumency much longer.  
  
***************************************************************  
  
Snape didn't know how Potter got into his Pensieve, but when he got back to his office he didn't stop Potter immediately. He gaped and suddenly he was back there, reliving the moment. He didn't need the Pensieve, he was living it through his own memory.  
  
"All right, Snivellus?"  
  
Snape ached with the rememberance.The bastard hadn't even let him get out his wand.  
  
"Expelliarmus!!". The came what Snape had known was coming, even at the time, not just now. "Impedimenta!"  
  
Severus lay gasping on the ground, not with pain but the injustice of it all.  
  
"How did the exam go, Snivelly?" James if course. The other morons didn't have the cruelness that James possessed.  
  
"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment." Black said viciously, cutting Severus even deeper. "There'll be great grease marks all over it, they wont be able to read a word."  
  
Severus had tried to get up but the jinx still held firm. "You wait! You wait!"Severus knew that someday James wouldn't be laughing.  
  
"Wait for what! What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"  
  
Black. Great type of man. Never as physical as James, but his words cut so much deeper.Severus wanted to be like Black, cool, calm, handsome. Severus knew the day would come when he would be able to hex without a wand, but know he just alternatively swore and muttered curses.  
  
"Wash out your mouth"James said coldly. "Scourgify!"  
  
"Levae him ALONE!!"Damn Mudblood.Who needed her help anyway?Severusw as sure he would have been able to fight off the hex in a minute or two.Lily Potter.Jame's wife.  
  
"All right, Evans?"Severus noticed how James's tone changed, was suddenly pleasant, deeper and more mature. Severus snorted.That'd be right.Potter, the womaniser.  
  
"Leave him alone!What'd he ever do to you?"Well, at least the Mudblood had the right idea.  
  
"Well.its more the fact he exists, if you know what I mean," Potter.Always the smartarse.No guesses where Potter junior got it from.At least now he had the satsifaction that he could make the wretched spawn of James suffer, over and over again. Lupin was the only one who didn't laugh.Snape could never find it in his heart to hate Lupin as much as the others.Of course, that was before he found out about-  
  
"You think you're funny.But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag Potter.Leave him alone." Severus definitely was having trouble spying marks of love on Lily, on the contrary, she did seem to abhor Potter.  
  
"I will if you go out with me, Evans"James of course. "Go on-go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.  
  
"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you or the giant squid,"She had said with such spirit, that looking back, Severus was sure that at the time she had liked.him.  
  
"Bad luck Prongs.OI!"Black turned back to Severus who by that time had got his wand back and was about to hex Potter.A good move, a few seconds time difference and he would have hit him in the heart, where Severus had intended to.Instead it hit him in the face, and Severus grinned with satisfaction (in the present) of seeing James's blood spatter.  
  
Severus cringed at what he knew was going to happen next, himself, hanging upside down, his robes falling about his face.Those bastards.They loved every miniute of it.The only one to defend him was the muggle born, the future Mrs Potter.  
  
"Let him down!"  
  
"Certainly,"James must have removed his wand, because Severus fell to the ground. He stood up and flared, wand at the ready, but that Black buffoon, Potter's little sidekick, yelled, "Petrificus Totalus!!" and Severus fell over as stiff as a board.Lily took out her wand.  
  
"All right Evans, don't make me hex you,"It wasn'r comfortimng to know that James avoided attacking everyone except him.James muttered the countercurse.Severus watched himself struggle to his face.  
  
"You're lucky Evan's was here, Snivellus-"  
  
"I don't need help from filthy little mudbloods like her!"Severus still found the need to preserve hat single shread of his dignity he had left.  
  
"Fine,"What Lily said next was worse than anything James and Black would have done to him. "I wont bother in future.And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."  
  
Of course Severus remembered what happened after Lily stalked off.James and his hero-worshippers had spent th next half hour with Snape upside down in the air tormenting him.  
  
That was when it struck Severus, he was still just as lonely and miserable as he had been back then. He felt nauseous as he imagined Potter junior telling his followers what he had seen.  
  
"So.been enjoying yourself, Potter?" 


End file.
